Candid Cadence

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Hitler's War

Cover page: Hitler's War, David Irving

There are those who believe what they have been told. There are those who go with the flow. There are those who contemplate. And then there are those who like to question and reason.

The early 20th century witnessed the rise of the Nazi regime which proliferated throughout the 20's and 30's until it wreaked havoc on the world, wiping away a major chunk of the human race and heritage. The Nazi ideologies were so widespread that it intimidated half the world about the consequences if it was left unchecked and would come to power.

Genocide has been an undeniable part of our history. For all that we've been taught during history lectures, the simple reason behind this Darwinistic idea of mass human extermination was ethnic cleansing; the wiping out of the less desirable, the less adaptable, and the less equipped to create a more superior and strong race. The most talked about among the many genocides that the world has witnessed is the holocaust; the horrifically unforgettable and appalling massacre of the European Jewry.

But did it really unfold as we know it? Was 'race' really the reason? A slightest implication of this idea would offend quite a large number of people and anyone saying so or even discussing the possibility may be termed as a pro-nazi; not a very desirable title. The book, Hitler's War audaciously tackles this very idea. While, it has been applauded by a new breed of thinkers called 'Holocaust Deniers', it has also been the subject of condemnation from holocaust survivors and independent political historians worldwide.

It is an unpretentious account of 'behind the scene' activity among the high ranking officials of the Nazi party, NSDAP, during World War II. It presents factual information aligning them with the timeline in the rule of the Third Reich and places them against the knowledge that we have about it till date. It exposes the thought process of Nazi Germany. It cultivates the idea that Adolf Hitler was oblivious to the happenings in the concentration camps mainly because he couldn't have been bothered with it when they were being attacked from all directions; when there were far more important things at stake than exercising his personal hatred for a group of people. It also sheds some light on Hitler's persona.

It may seem slightly biased towards clearing up the image of the Nazis that we have, yet it leaves ample cognitive space for the readers to draw their own conclusions.

Tuesday, 19 August 2014

Finding a Balance

For years I had been taught that for a relationship to be lasting and fulfilling, I’d have to be generous beyond my comfort zone. Maintaining healthy relationships does take some effort and I might have to be on the giving end quite often to be accepted and loved. It’s only after I got married, I realised that I couldn't have been more wrong.

Marriage was synonymous with change for me. It meant I had to completely strip myself off my old self and be a brand new me. I was an independent woman and had never stepped into the kitchen apart from the times I had to fix myself some instant noodles. I liked to sleep in on holidays and pamper myself. I had a head on my shoulders and held my own unbiased opinions about the world around me.

All that changed after marriage with a lot of effort on my part. I started spending time in the kitchen trying to create things that would please my new family. I used to be up early regardless of the time I had hit the sack, a habit that would make my new family accept and love me. I had things taken care of before they even thought about it. I showered them with gifts every now and then. I tried to accept traditions that made my new family happy regardless of my own likes and dislikes. And since I was putting in so much effort, I did expect some appreciation in return.

The time I had for myself soon dwindled to a few minutes a day. I gave up reading, a passion since childhood, simply because there was no more time. A day of never-ending domestic chores, being over-accommodating, and always nodding in agreement out of the fear of offending someone, was enough to suck all energy out of me.

Soon discontentment settled it. I was in constant battle with myself to stop nodding at things I did not believe in. I craved for more personal time to get back in tune with myself. My body was demanding more rest. I desperately wanted to be me again.

Time passed and people forgot all the gifts and the good things I'd done. My obligation to do what I thought was expected of me was misunderstood as a belittling act. My exercising caution to keep away from sensitive family issues was taken to be dis-involvement and indifference. I faced frequent criticism over my culinary skills and I was constantly dealing with snide remarks instead of the appreciation I had expected for all my services. Yet, I absorbed everything negative, never venting it out. I spent sleepless nights rewinding the incidents and thinking where I went wrong or what I should have said or done. I was in a pitiable state and a feeling of being victimised began gnawing at me. I couldn't quite understand where it had all gone wrong. I was doing my job, but there was no result, no appreciation, no acceptance; only judgement. And so, I ruminated on this problem often, reliving all the hurt, refusing to let go off the baggage.

And then one day, everything came crashing down. I had been too much on the giving end for too long and had exhausted myself out. A war of words broke out, flared by my incapability of expressing my true feelings and their incapacity to understand it.

It was only after a year that it dawned on me what had gone wrong. I had felt unappreciated, that was my part of the problem; the other part was that others had always been on the receiving end. They had the need to be appreciated too, which I had failed to fulfil. That’s when I switched sides and put myself on the receiving end doing my bit whenever required and allowing myself the luxury of not always being perfect.

Miraculously, things changed for the better. I realised that simple things like appreciating my mother-in-law for something she had cooked would have worked; only that she would have had to fight her way through my excessively accommodating nature to receive that appreciation. Or I would have thanked my father-in-law for a lift, had I not been awfully concerned about the inconvenience it would cause him. All these were missed opportunities.

A relationship is a balance between giving and receiving and no relationship with an imbalance of these two elements can survive and thrive. Though, the wounds of the past have left their mark, I guess I'd just bank on time to do what it does best; heal.