Confronting Fear

Emotions add spice to our lives. Psychologists have spent years of research in understanding the causes and effects of emotions on human activity, both physical and mental. One of the most intriguing is the emotion of fear. Psychologists define fear as the emotional response to an alleged threat; simply the awareness and anticipation of perceived danger. Self-preservation is one of the primal urges of mankind and fear is the cause of the survival instinct against any potential external threat. Fear is one feeling that brings about a lot of physical activity in the human body. Some of them may be faster heart beat, dryness in the mouth because of the improper functioning of the salivary glands, sweating (especially in the palms), tightness in the abdomen etc.

The autonomic nervous system is responsible for the visceral functions of the human body. Its two responses that keep the functions of the body in balance are sympathetic and parasympathetic. The sympathetic responses allow the body to function under duress. Parasympathetic allows the body to repose and relax, thereby having an absolutely opposite effect on the body from that of the sympathetic. Fear can be better understood as one of the conditions stimulated by sympathetic responses in the body. The response is caused by the release of adrenaline, noradrenaline and the steroid cortisol.

The process is always physical, chemical and then rational. As soon as the body comes in contact with an external fear stimulant, the sympathetic responses of the body are activated resulting in the release of chemicals. Every time a person encounters a situation where he experiences fear, the human mind chooses between two options, fight or flight. In order to prepare itself for the fight-or-flight mode, the body automatically performs a number of functions so as to be ready for either a quick action or a quick escape.

1. The heart rate increases and pumps more blood to the muscles and brain
2. The air intake in the lungs is faster in order to supply oxygen to the body
3. The pupils of the eyes dilate to improve vision
4. The activity in the digestive and urinary systems slows down for those particular moments to facilitate the mind to concentrate on the fearful thing at hand. 

The third step is rational, where the mind reasons whether the stimulant is actually harmful or not. Sometimes, the same situation or physical condition can be experienced without any apparent stimulant, person or situation. Such a condition is termed as 'Anxiety'. Fear holds a close relation with many phenomena, such as, worry, caution, horror, and panic.

The intensity of fear varies. It is a part of evolution for human beings. Most of the time fear depends on the conditioning of a child's mind. Conditioned fear infuses dread for otherwise harmless and inconsequential things being associated with danger. Past experiences also serve as conditioners. For instance, once a child is hurt as a result of burning his finger after touching a hot pan, he invariably takes precaution the next time. This is termed as the mildest forms of fear; precaution. Suppose a child has experienced being shut alone in an elevator, he may develop claustrophobia in the later years of life. This is a more intensified feeling of fear. A phobia can rouse frustration to the extremes. Experiences of fear may be forgotten by the conscious state of mind but can be stored in the unconscious and may resurface as nightmares. Such a situation may lead to paranoia. Extreme fear can lead to many pathological conditions such as schizophrenia and post-traumatic stress disorder. Unconditioned fear is instinctive. It cannot be learnt, rather, it is more of a heritage from our ancestors.

Research has revealed that a person feeds his own fear. People are social by nature. The most deep rooted fear of man lies in 'being isolated'. This has bred the apprehensions of being abandoned, losing security and ones identity, feelings of inferiority and discrimination, losing face etc. These feelings often incite people to behave irrationally. Much of the anti-social behavior of people is a direct consequence of these fears. However, fear can prove to be healthy too. Psychologists term degrees of fear as 'good' or 'bad'. The fear of uncontrollable things is only upsetting; however, if there is room for improvement induced by fear, it is a much healthier condition of fear. For example, the fear of being humiliated may lead a student to work harder for his/her exams and attain a better result.

To get rid of fear, it's important to face it first. The best way to tackle fear is being aware of the nature of it; being aware of the kind of feelings it arouses and what are the outcomes of it. There are many behavioral techniques devised by psychologists to reduce the feelings of fear and thereby reduce stress. Most importantly, it is necessary to understand and accept the fact that everyone has the same underlying fears. This feeling of empathy helps us to deal with fear in a much better manner and get results faster.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Adeline_Cecilia
Yup, that's me.

Attention Employees! Let's Gossip

When I was working for an elearning firm, we were quite a tight knit group of 7 girls. We spent considerable time together which gave us an insight on each others' strengths and weaknesses and all of us made some effort on our part to improve the team's overall performance. We always made it a point to lunch together whenever possible and discussed almost everything from work to personal life. I was a new comer so mostly sat listening. We weren't malicious gossipers but after a while I was well aware of the informal hierarchy of authority in the office which would have taken me months to figure out on my own.

Later, at an interview, one of the questions was whether I was immune to office gossips? To which I responded rather pedantically while holding a slightly opposing view. Who wants to put off an interviewer???...

Gossip has always been considered a taboo. We are often warned against its destructive nature in personal and professional life. Proverbs 16:28 and many other Biblical verses warn about the havoc that gossip wreaks and the ulterior motives, personal issues, the backstabbing nature of gossipers. Organisations discourage such practices openly and exhort employees to exercise caution against rumours and telltales for obvious reasons: it hampers productivity.

But just how many organisations can claim to be free of gossip circles? None!!! The truth is gossip rules organisational cultures. About 70% of all conversations that take place at work involves gossip. Recent researches say that it might not be such a bad thing after all. 

Advantages

1. One of the many advantages of gossiping is that it helps employees to bond easily. 
2. It makes newcomers feel accepted and involved.
3. Most companies are not 100% transparent regarding company policies or management decisions. Since gossip is informal dissemination of information, it gives employees a chance to discuss situations, brainstorm possibilities and come up with possible consequences.
4. Gossip reduces stress as it gives a platform to employees to vent out their dissatisfaction and anger in the office premises instead of taking it home seething.
5. Gossips are good way to understand workplace dynamics.
6. Gossip helps in people management to an extent.
7. It maintains power balance, which means it keeps prima donna bosses in check.
8. Helps to identify non-performers.

Disadvantages
But as the old adage goes, too much of anything is bad, gossip also has its downsides.

1. Gossip is a double edged sword. If it's used against someone else, it can be used against you.
2. It transfers preconceived notions about people to people who may have different perspectives.
3. Gossip makes it difficult to distinguish between facts and rumours.
4. It may slightly bring about an imbalance of power in the group involved in gossip; the one who has more information will be deemed more powerful.
5. Gossip breaks down trust levels between two groups and makes working together difficult.
6. May give rise to conflicts.
7. Malicious gossip can reduce productivity as employees/supervisors spend a lot of time figuring out who said what which often results in animosity.
8. It may make introverts feel culturally isolated. 

Are You Assertive Enough?

Just like it takes two to tango, it takes two thinking individual minds for a relationship to blossom not a mind and a resentful doormat. A relationship, whether on personal or professional grounds, cannot thrive in the absence of dialogue. Since I'm a partial escapist, I'd put a quarter of the blame for learning this the harder way on my culture and two thirds on me persistently being a masochist.

What's your take?

From the very beginning, we are taught to obey. There's nothing wrong with that. But there's a thin line between obeying and obeying blindly. Obeying blindly in an effort to be more likable and accepted, not voicing my opinions in fear of offending people and lacking the ability to say 'No' when my insides were raging has cost me a good deal of emotional energy, countless hours of good night sleep that I spent plotting revenge and dealing with an overpowering feeling of being victimized. And the funny part is, I always thought I was assertive when clinically I was exactly the opposite. A Passive Polly!!!

Over time and at the expense of many 'not so good' experiences I have learnt that being assertive is an invaluable communication skill and is an integral part of emotional intelligence. It is a way of communicating that you respect yourself enough to stand up for yourself and are confident about what you are asserting without disrespecting other people or belittling their interests. Here are a few advantages of being assertive:
1. Less stressful than being passive/aggressive
2. Maintain better relationships
3. Does not lead to resentment (that can be held on to for a long long time...)
4. Leads to peaceful coexistence
5. You will have more positive energy to divert in constructive areas
6. Leads to high self-esteem

Both the other extremes, passivity and aggression have their own repercussions. Where passivity may leave you with wrath seething inside you, aggression may lead to avoidance and opposition from the other side.

Everyone, regardless of the personality types can learn to be more assertive though some individuals are naturally blessed with this communication technique. The crux lies in resisting the urge to react with aggression, admitting when wrong and respecting boundaries.

Tony Stark loves Pepper... and so do I

It was a typical day of Ozzie winter onset and my husband, just back for lunch, couldn't resist a couple of helpings of some steaming hot tomato rice, tempered with garlic and pepper. Truly content, he casually blurted out, "What would we do without pepper?" Yes, what would I do? It just had to be the ingredient in almost everything I cooked. I simply loved the hot flavour of pepper, just like so many countless people in the world. This spice with its delicately pungent aroma has the power to transform a tasteless poached egg into a culinary magnum opus. But it's just not that, pepper had been the most sought-after spice since ages and has been the reason behind all the exploration in the name of spice trade. Let me pen down a few pointers about pepper and why it is good.

1. To all the lovely ladies out there, it prevents the development of breast cancer tumours. 
2. Just a few teaspoons contain a whole bunch of nutrients like manganese, iron (now you know why Stark loves pepper: pun intended), vitamin K, fibre and calcium. You wouldn't want to miss it when it's so readily available in your kitchen. 
3. Black pepper acts as an inhibitor for intestinal gas to form, in other words reduces flatulence.
4. Pepper promotes sweating (diaphoretic) and urination (diuretic). That's a great thing for weight loss, cleaning of pores and detoxification.
5. Attention all green tea freaks, black pepper is an antioxidant. That means it can get rid of the free radicals in your body.
6. Black pepper is antibacterial.
7. It is a natural anti-depressant.
8. it improves secretion of hydrochloric acid which breaks down food during digestion. So it's a great digestive.
9. And above all, it has a very very low glycemic index.

Many of us don't like to chew peppercons when we find it in food. the solution for that is to keep a pepper mill handy. Crushing peppercons into fine or grainy powder is the best way to consume it. It has been proved that the outer shell of peppercon helps break down fat cells hence keeping the body in shape.

Selling Spree...

I love shopping! After a hectic week, nothing would be more exciting than going on an unplanned shopping spree. The pleasure of entering any haven for shoppers and relish the beauty of the products at display is just inexplicable. Yes, I love shopping, but it’s not an obsessive compulsive disorder. As a practical buyer, I like to take my own time in assessing something I would like to buy. I like my comfortable personal space and form personal opinions about products. I’m also one of those buyers who know what they want to buy before entering a retail mall. I like to take my own decisions in peace.

Lately this wonderful experience of shopping has been turned into an absolute nightmare. I dread shopping because I don’t like to be treated like a Queen, followed and surrounded by a hundred aggressively helpful sales assistants, soliciting me to every counter I even glance at, even those I don’t wish to stop at. Above all, I do not like to be monitored constantly.

I avoid walking up to the displays of handbags, jewellery, accessories or shoes just to evade the possibility of uttering, “I’m just looking,” to an over-enthusiastic “Yes Ma’am?” when my mind inaudibly screeches, “Why don’t you leave me alone. I may not be here to buy, but by doing this you are banishing even the possibility of my considering buying anything at all.” It is annoying, when I spot something attractive and walk towards it, a salesperson from the other corner of the counter charges towards me and plants himself at an awkward proximity, watching my every move, incessantly reciting prices, offers and discounts, ruining my one chance of buying it. As for me, I’d either persist, avoiding all eye contact and communication or simply walk away.

The entire affair is so stressful and intimidating for buyers. They feel like prey, trapped in an unwanted situation and may just end up buying something they don’t even know they need, in a rush or simply to get rid of the pesky salespeople.

Casual conversations in my friend circle revealed that most of them have had similar experiences and would like to be left in peace while making up their mind about buying something or not buying it at all. Countless other people around the globe must have felt this more than once during shopping.

I don’t despise salespeople for simply doing their job. All I’m doing is fighting that feeling of discomfort arising when someone is constantly watching your every step. I’m fighting the interruption in my though process which answers questions like needed or not, worth it or not, buying or not.

Salespeople however, are just doing what they are expected to do: sell. The rising consumerism, soaring sales targets, mounting profit, growing revenue, more commissions etc. are the reasons for their aggressiveness to sell. On the other hand, such tactics are short-lived. They fail to make a loyal and returning customer base. Customer satisfaction is paramount after a purchase is made. Buyers would not return if they feel cheated, intimated or pressurized into buying. Today, when most businesses are striving to have a loyal customer base, such behaviour and sales strategies should be strongly discouraged.

The point is, that sales does not only have practical selling strategies to itself. It is not a set of theories that can be applied to one and all. Sales deals with people, each one unique in thinking and behaviour. The catch lies in knowing who is there to buy and who is there to just window shop and accordingly apply customer centric selling tactics. It is essential to know one's limit while making a sales call. A memorable and comfortable buying experience is invaluable for first-time buyers, hence, an understanding of human nature and subtle body language cues is very important. While training a sales force, it is vital to educate them about the psychosocial aspects in dealing with customers. An over-zealous salesperson, is just as capable of driving customers away if she/he does not understand when to intervene and when to let go. 

Want to lose weight? Try Chopsticks

To master eating with chopsticks was one my life's small goals since college. Before that I had never given them much of a thought. I had once had the experience of eating with chopsticks at a Thai colleague's wedding reception and it doesn't feature in my most memorable experiences' list. Recently, I started using them just because they appeared from somewhere in my rented accomodation. After a few times of fumbling with them and watching a few youtube videos about the right technique to hold them, I finally got the knack. But while using them, I realized that I was eating way too less and taking way too much time to do so which also brought about the revelation that that just might be the reason behind the slender figures of our south east Asian counterparts, specially the Chinese and Japanese.

The Science...
Ironically, there was no science behind chopsticks when they were first used in China some 5000 years ago. But a book by Kimiko Barber in 2009 postulates that the slim physique of the orient may be attributed to the use of chopsticks. The simple logic is that hunger and digestion are governed by an intricate system of chemicals secreted by the hypothalamus that send out signals to the body.  Once you start eating, it will take about 20 minutes for the mind to send out a signal to stop eating. So if you eat slowly for some 15-20 minutes and eat comparatively small morsels (how much can you hold with chopsticks???), you are bound to eat only what you need and stay healthy and that's exactly what chopsticks facilitate. Gorging on food is a complete no-no if you want to achieve your weight loss goals.

Secondly, many people from around the world are turning to chopsticks and ditching conventional cutlery. There are number of etiquettes and taboos that go together with chopsticks and remembering all of them in an effort to respect the oriental cultures, takes a lot of concentration, practice and calculation on the part of a non-regular user. Performing the daunting task of getting food safely into the mouth from the bowl is also included in those 15-20 minutes which is ample time for the brain to send out fullness signals.

I am the Nation

It was one of those busy mornings. Even ‘rat race’ seems to be a mere understatement, a futile attempt to describe the daily commute to work that morning. To avoid a spoilt temperament amidst the cacophony of the rush hour traffic, the last resort would be to somehow keep cool. It was easy to forget a trivial conversation with a friend in such a commotion; however, some superlatively honest things when spoken with a streak of humour seem inconsequential until retrospection.

This mundane setting was ironically not the most perfect backdrop for one such insightful conversation with a friend. Both of us having lived away from home, have had the opportunity to experience different cultures and lifestyles. Hence, we often involved ourselves in casual dialogue about our varied sojourns. One of the most recurrent topics for discussion was an absolute lack of traffic sense. Unruly traffic had become a nuisance since the dawn of rigorous development in the town, and thus our pet peeve. As our discussion gradually progressed, stimulated by a sense that we might not make it to work on time, comparisons and criticisms surfaced from the abyss of pretense. We hated the driver honking incessantly right behind us. We detested the one, who without warning overtook us. We harshly judged the one who was desperately trying to get ahead and given a chance would not mind breaking a few rules. And we reproachfully scowled at the one who gave us a don’t-you-dare-cross-my-path look coupled with a few profanities. Call it a bad hair day should you confront this once in a while, but what if you come across this every time you are travelling? It is national character; we flippantly remarked and laughed it off.  We reached workplace inevitably late and caught up with our lives.

No, it’s not a thought ideologists would be able to shrug off their minds so soon. I’ve been on it ever since. I love my motherland but not a fanatic either. This thought, however, made a lasting impact on me. A reflection on this simple incident brought me face-off with some of the darkest facets of my nature as a human being as well as a responsible citizen. I discovered, I was neither. I have been unequivocally selfish on the road. I have been brutally rash. I have been impatient. I have broken rules. I have glowered with ill concealed rage at others. I have been spiteful. I have blatantly been myself on the street. And since every citizen is a representative of his/her nation, I am what my compatriots are. That was the grim reality.

We seldom give thought to this daily activity. Blame it on the lifestyle; scientifically, we spend more time driving than we do eating. Many people have devoted time into studying traffic science with behavioural psychology. One major observation is that behavior on the road is almost exactly how a person would behave in real life transactions. Traffic casualties have been the reason and sometimes consequence of the feelings of resentment a nation may harbour. It also ropes in fatalities due to alcoholism, statistics of which might differ from region to economic status. Secondly, these observations open a whole myriad of possibilities for probing into gender equality studies, the status of women in any country just by observing how they are being dealt with on the road. And thirdly, it’s a great insight on the behavioural aspect of society as a whole. The religious beliefs and superstitions of a region also play a major role in deciding what may or may not be acceptable on the road. For example, a path crossed by a black cat is not to be trodden. In India, this is a bad omen. Or, the holy cow is not to be hustled away even if it’s a major obstacle in transit. Culture also impacts adherence to traffic rules. In collective cultures, like India or China, the rules are relatively lax than those in individualistic cultures, mostly western nations.

The solutions to this chaos theory are also very character-driven. It calls for people to be more altruistic, patient, composed and accommodating. Foresight and maturity are of utmost importance here. People should be able to anticipate what’s coming and accordingly change course or pace to avoid unnecessary hold ups. Now, wouldn’t that be a great influence on our personal lives too? Wouldn’t it alter our behavior for the better?

I have been on a revival ever since this though found its bases in my mind. It has not been an easy journey. It’s an everyday battle; a constant effort at being more altruistic without first thinking of optimum self advantage. And I would give myself the credit of improving on it day by day. It has helped me to act and react rationally and empathically in all personal transactions and real life situations. It has taught me that while traffic science, a concoction of scientific principles and human element, may not be that simple to understand; it would just be an intelligent choice to go with the flow.