Wednesday, 20 May 2015

10 Things to do Before a Baby Rocks Your World

So, you've come out victorious in answering the most enervating question of life: to commit or not to commit. And now you intend to spend your life with that special someone. Marriage is a big change and it may take a good few years to even get used to the idea. But as soon as you think you're getting there, people, especially you know who, start bombarding you with questions about your intentions to expand as a family. If you’re nodding your head in agreement, rest assured, you’re not alone.

As women, we know that sooner or later our maternal instincts shall kick in. The miniature version of you, with the pitter-patter of tiny feet, incessant and incoherent babble, food smeared pout, and chubby cheeks, sounds uber cute but is an energy sucker to a behemothic degree. This is change in its profound sense. The other things that come along with parenting will suck-up most of your energy and your couple-time will either shrink infinitesimally or cease to exist altogether. With babies comes routine, which isn’t always good for adults. Often a feeling of emptiness creeps in throwing the emotional state of couples out of whack.

So, here is my concise list of things you can do now to make this time together the most fulfilling experience. 

It takes two to Tango
Allegorically speaking, tango for beginners is marriage in the fast forward mode. Stepping on each other’s feet, losing balance and supporting each other, rocking in tune and trusting enough to fall into each other's arms. It builds trust and prepares couples for the support they’ll need from each other. Besides, tango is sexy. Full-stop.

Go backpacking
Ladies, this is the time to prove to your partner that you can read maps. Jokes apart, this is a revelatory experience. It gives couples a deep insight into each other’s capacity to hold on in tough situations, their resourcefulness and the ability to take the lead.  

Cook together
This is by far the most fulfilling experience for me. While crafting a culinary masterpiece every time they step into the kitchen may not be the strong point of many partners/spouses, cooking meals together strengthens couples as a team. It instils the feelings of acceptance and appreciation for each other. You can do it even when the new member joins your camp, but things are going to be super-duper messy.  

Go for long drives
Going for long drives without a destination in mind is a great way to unwind and let go off things. Apart from being fun, following the road is a reminder to take things as they come. Often we worry a lot about the future which makes parenting more stressful. This activity will remind you to enjoy the journey.

Buy a House
House hunting is an exhausting process. Nonetheless, it’s worth investing time and money before you add more members to your family. The feeling of having a place you can call your own is second to nothing. It gives couples space to spread their legs and stimulates creative thought. Besides, you don't want to be moving houses with a baby on board.  

Take a vacation to an exotic locale
Go for a second honeymoon. And if your financial situation permits, a third and a fourth. Surround yourself with natural beauty. There is nothing more romantic than taking a long walk along the beach hand-in-hand, or having a candle light dinner in an exotic location. It'll be a long while until you can have all that time to yourself. 

Have a common friend circle
It is important to have a robust support system outside of your immediate family. Have common friends of all age groups from different stage of life, even empty nesters. Firstly, it is easier to share things with friends that we mostly wouldn't share with our next of kin. Secondly, it is a chance for couples to learn about relationships and parenting, vicariously. And as they fulfil your support needs, you can have a chance to do the same for them along the way. 

Don’t buy a car; buy a Campervan
Yes, you read it; A Campervan. Ditch the comfort of your couch for a month and live off the road; work can wait. You will come back tanned and ugly but a brand new person. And who knows how long until you hit the road again?

Be involved in each other's passion
I live and breathe books. Written word is to me as a screwdriver drill is to my husband. We understand that. We have regular trips to book stores and warehouses and influence each other's decisions for the better. As important as it is to give each other space to pursue your respective passions, it is important to be involved in it, even if all you can do is offer a dilettante's perspective. It is a great way to empower each other. 

Financial independence and stability
This is a very powerful position to be in. Women may want to continue to work or be stay-at-home mums to take care of their little one/s. Being financially independent gives the power of choice to women. Financial stability will pay your bills while you enjoy motherhood and will alleviate the burden on your partners so that they can enjoy parenting as much as you will.   

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