Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Be Selfish, Be Happy

Being a woman is not easy. Before you form an opinion about me or what you are about to read, I want to tell you that I'm in the least bit feminist.

So, yes, being a woman is not easy. We grow up causing our guardians to live under a cloud of uncertainty. They empower us with education but have no say when it comes to us making a choice to continue with our careers or invest that time in bringing up our families. If we do choose to be work women, we still have to shoulder great responsibility at home and practically speaking, this responsibility is seldom shared. Because, well, we have working partners or spouses. 

Anyway, I don't know if you are beginning to see my point here. We are conditioned to place ourselves in the second place. We are taught from the very first conscious thought to accommodate others first. Any instrument of self expression, be it a career you are passionate about, or a hobby you may want to pursue; your simple likes and dislikes even when it comes to what's-there-for-dinner take a back seat if they interfere with the routines and choices of those who matter in your lives. We are expected to act selflessly. But does this make us happy human beings? Does this make us happy women?

A selfless act once in a while is good. But what if you have to act selflessly at almost every instance in your life. I have heard many women fret and complain about the selfless acts they have been performing everyday and how unimportant they felt. So, here's a piece of advice exclusively for all my dear female counterparts. Be Selfish!

Don't wait for people to respect you. Command it!
One night, I was too brain-dead, fagged out, and in no mood to cook a meal. Copy editors too get tired; reading crap the whole day is no piece of cake. I knew my husband had had a busy week too. At dinner time, when he asked what was there for dinner, I told him I was in no mood. That night he cooked a delicious gourmet meal for us. It was a good break from the kitchen for me and a great stress relieving activity for him. 

It is a very small incident but the implication is huge. It is the right to say 'No' to things you don't want to do and people respecting you enough to accept it; no questions asked. 

Voice your opinion 
Having a firm commitment to what you believe in is an intricate part of who you are and what others make of you. If you like or dislike something, assert your opinion even if it does not align with that of others'. But then again, it was never meant to be. You are unique. It only shows that you are an important individual and know what you want. Give yourself importance, the world will follow.

Take time out
That's a difficult one for all the home makers out there who go with the flow in their respective homes. Take time out to do things you like to do. Don't shrink your personal time because it clashes with the routine of your family. Spending time alone and being in tune with your inner self is important. 

Pamper yourself
Yes, you are an marvellous creation and you deserve a bit of pampering. People will respect you more if you take care of yourself. They derive conclusions about how you expect to be treated by the way you present yourself. 

Do what makes you happy. Have a activity or a hobby you can excel at. Create something without looking for approval from others. 

You are solely responsible for your happiness
Above all, the responsibility of your happiness lies with you. Make yourself a priority. You are the only one who can bear the emotional burden of keeping yourself happy. 

Find happiness in the little things that you, as an individual would like to do. The happier you are, the more you will love yourself, the lesser regrets you will have in life, and the better you will be able to care for your family. Now, that's a win-win situation.

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